This is Sarah's story. But she's got all the good stories, and sometimes I get jealous. So I'm stealing it, and taking inappropriate artistic liberties with it. But for the most part this story is absolutely true.
She is a Grandma, but not the card playing type. Small and quiet, she's always admired the modern woman. The way that a modest stage hand admires the lead. She giggles discreetly at dirty jokes, but wouldn't repeat one under penalty of death.
She is as likely to take an impulsive turn into Hot Topic as The Yarn Barn.
She was on state street and passed a quirky little store that she'd never been in before. Feeling adventurous, she rarely feels differently, she turned and went inside. She took everything in. As enchanted with the little baby bibs that said "spit happens" as she was with the little wind up penis toys. And then her eyes fall on these cute little plushie toys. They are in all sorts of geometrical shapes. Round ones, triangles, and ones like curled string. All soft and fuzzy with cute little eyes and bright colours.
She snatched them up, and in a sort of drugged euphoria that only a grandparent sending whimsical gifts to their grandchildren can know, took them home and boxed them up. The next morning she kept smiling to herself, thinking about her grandaughter and grandson, who live in Florida, opening them. Her Grandson is 3, her Gandaughter is 5. Just old enough to think that Grandman is a little quirky, but still young enough to appreciate any gifts they get in the mail. Especially fuzzy colourful ones.
She sent them off, still smiling as she imagined their faces when her daughter - their mother - called out "kids, you got something in the mail from Grandma!"
She only had to wait a couple days, she'd splurged a bit on the postage, before her daughter called.
"Mom, we got your package."
"Oh did you?" Her grin sparking down the phone lines, bright enough to be heard on the other end, "Did they like them?"
"Oh they loved them, little johnny is chewing on his already."
"That's great, i was hoping they'd get a kick out of them"
"Um, Mom.... Did you look at the tags before you picked them out?"
"No, did I leave a price tag on them?"
"Oh no, it's not that at all," Now it was her's daughters turn to smile so loudly it blared out the other end. A grin on teettering on the verge of full blown laughter, "It's just that, well these are sort of special plushies. Scientific ones."
"Scientific ones?"
"Ya, they're microbes."
"Microbes? Like bacteria."
"Like bacteria. And you made an..... interesting choice," She broke, and her next words came out in between gasps of laughter that threatened to, "Mom, you gave you're grandkids gonorrhea!!"
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