Vociferous voices
I found out that my toaster is sentient this morning. Sentient, and maybe just a little bit evil. I put my toast in, and I sit there, looking at it, waiting for the toast to pop. Because you know that there is nothing worse than trying to spread cold butter on cooling toast. It ruins the whole piece of toast! Come on, you know it... you've ranted and cursed and gnashed your teeth as our silver cutlery crumbles and shreds that white toasted plane.
And here's what my toaster does. It waits... it watches.... as I glare and mutter under my breathe "pop mother fucker. pop"
ahhhh but the toaster is patient. And as soon as I reach to do somethin, something that takes two hands and cannot be dropped quickly. Something like taking hot oatmeal out of the microwave.
POP!
Up comes the toast as I fumble around, putting down the oatmeal, scrambling for a knife, scraping off some butter.... but alas, it's too late. That crucial moment has passed and my perfect piece of honey'd toast is ruined.
And it was planned. There was thought put into this waste.
With my next piece of bread-become-toast I waited. I didn't pick up anything, I didn't turn my back. I waited like the patient toast predator that I am. And it burned! It burned before it popped!
Okay, one more test. This time I put the toast in, and with breakfast-ninja like relexes i spin, snatching the milk from the fridge, balancing my bowl on my box of wheat chex, and glide towards the table, the toast hasn't been down for 15 seconds yet...
and POP! the toast... or bread still actually, is up. I have no choice but to waste those few crucial moments of perfect "toasted freshness" when the butter would have melted off the knife like summer sun off a red playground slide, while I put down my cereal, my milk and my bowl.
So now I know.... that my toaster is alive, and harbors some sort of grudge against me.
Tomorrow... the invisible faeries that make me drop things in the morning. Oddly enough they go away after I start drinking coffee....
Monday, December 20, 2004
Friday, December 17, 2004
Vociferous voices
Vociferous voices
Wanna get upset about something? Read this.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/programmes/this_world/4038375.stm
I'm so sick of the whole "we're right because we're us" mentality. Like because we are the united states we are infallible. We've stopped examining out own actions. We've slid into this lazy state of mind where we just assume that we are the moral high ground and anything we do is beyond question. This is so wrong, and what's behind it? The same sickness that is spreading through out the U.S. It's in our politics, it's in our healthcare, it's in every aspect of our day to day lives.
It's the dehumanization of our population. It's turning people into test subjects, or marketing numbers. The loss of all sympathy and compassion. And how that get's aligned with the moral right? It's just beyond comprehension.
Wanna get upset about something? Read this.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/programmes/this_world/4038375.stm
I'm so sick of the whole "we're right because we're us" mentality. Like because we are the united states we are infallible. We've stopped examining out own actions. We've slid into this lazy state of mind where we just assume that we are the moral high ground and anything we do is beyond question. This is so wrong, and what's behind it? The same sickness that is spreading through out the U.S. It's in our politics, it's in our healthcare, it's in every aspect of our day to day lives.
It's the dehumanization of our population. It's turning people into test subjects, or marketing numbers. The loss of all sympathy and compassion. And how that get's aligned with the moral right? It's just beyond comprehension.
Thursday, December 16, 2004
YFORUM
Wow... I still think it's a good site. But if you go there, be ready.. Some of the things are gonna tick you off. The sheer level of ignorance and intolerance some people have. It makes me shake with rage and frustration at the same time. Here's an example of one tha I was very very tempted to let loose on. But I didn't. I'm goign to wait until I can formulate something a little more rational and a little less angry.
"Category: Sexual Orientation
Subject: First holding hands, now marriage
Reply: (read original message)I think it's an outrage that gay people want to have the same rights to marriage that straight people do. Back in the 1930s, there was no such thing as gay people. If you were gay, you kept it to yourself because someone could kill you and they're only defense would be, he was gay. Then in the 1970s you saw everything - whores, gay people, people just walking around nude. Gay guys who just had hundreds of partners a night. And thus this is where society discovered AIDS. So now gay people can be gay, someone can know about it, they can even walk down the street and hold hands with another gay man and have no fear of what's going to happen. But alas, that's still not good enough. Gay people want their own schools and, most appalling, the right to marry. Why is it that I can't go to an all-Christian school for free, but gay people can go to an all-gay school? I think it's sad that we've become this type of society.POSTED 1/25/2004Renee, Clinton, MD, United States, Female, Christian, Black/African American, Straight, Technical School, Lower middle class, Mesg ID 1172004105850"
"Category: Sexual Orientation
Subject: First holding hands, now marriage
Reply: (read original message)I think it's an outrage that gay people want to have the same rights to marriage that straight people do. Back in the 1930s, there was no such thing as gay people. If you were gay, you kept it to yourself because someone could kill you and they're only defense would be, he was gay. Then in the 1970s you saw everything - whores, gay people, people just walking around nude. Gay guys who just had hundreds of partners a night. And thus this is where society discovered AIDS. So now gay people can be gay, someone can know about it, they can even walk down the street and hold hands with another gay man and have no fear of what's going to happen. But alas, that's still not good enough. Gay people want their own schools and, most appalling, the right to marry. Why is it that I can't go to an all-Christian school for free, but gay people can go to an all-gay school? I think it's sad that we've become this type of society.POSTED 1/25/2004Renee, Clinton, MD, United States, Female, Christian, Black/African American, Straight, Technical School, Lower middle class, Mesg ID 1172004105850"
yforum
I found this little site. I heard about it on a radio talk show and thought I'd do my part to spread the word. I'ts honest questions and honest answers. It's not a political site. The questions are more of the race, sex, age, sexual orientation type. You post a question that you have, but haven't been comfortable asking, and then you look to see if there are any you can reply to. I'll admit, that being a middle age over weight white guy... there weren't many questions that I could answer.
http://www.yforum.com/
http://www.yforum.com/
Monday, December 13, 2004
watchya lookin' at!?
here, I want to see if this cut and paste icon to my little yahoo group with only 23 posts works. It's pretty inactive, but I still like it as a good place to keep all my favorite links accessible form anyplace with web access.
Click to join thisredrock
Click to join thisredrock
Sunday, December 12, 2004
turkey turkey turkey turkey turkey turkey turkey
... and the chaos begins.
Sarah's parents arrived while we were still into he shower. Sarah's Mom seems happier than before, a little more relaxed than I remember seeing her. She just getting over being sick for quite a while. Kidney stones, and infections, and dehydration and a whole cornucopia of unwellness. SO maybe she's just on a "feeling better" high. -found out later that she was on Oxycodone the whole time... she could have at least shared.
There's a tension between her and Roger, Sarah's Dad. It's almost a visible line pulled tight between them.
I know that the past months have been hard for him. Very hard. The past year maybe even.
He lost his job when the factory closed. Wasn't able to find work, not for lack of trying, i'll attest to that. And ended up on disability. But medicare hasn't kicked in yet, and even when it does it's going to leave a lot left over.
And he's been told time and time again that he's not insurable.
Add to that the incompetent doctors that Margie has, and her utter -nearly religious- devotion to their folly.
I admire him imensely for staying sane thus far: I don't think I would have been able to.
And Sarah is stressed, and she gets... well short... when she is stressed. Kinda rude even sometimes. It's hard to stay angry at her for it though. When the frenzied fog lifts she's sorry, and harder on herself than any guilt trip I could lay down.
So you've got these three, as well as Ashley, all in our little kitchen. And Ashley is like the catalyst in a reaction that you really don't want to take place. She hasn't quite figured out how to talk and do anything else at the same time. And she hasn't quite picked up the "not talking" skill yet. Her monologues are never ending.
So either Sarah or I are constantly telling her to "stop talking, start eating", "stop talking, start getting dressed," stop talking, start brushing," "stop talking and get in the car," "for heaven's sake stop talking and remember to breathe!"
Sarah didn't loose it though, kudos to her for that. And at about a quarter after 9:00 I took Ashley to church for the dress rehearsal. Leaving Sarah, her Mom and her Dad at home with the turkey. And now i'm a little nervous about that.
It gived me an hour in fellowship hall w/ my coffee and 2 slices of cranberry bread though.
Enough time to jot down the day thus far....
The children's program was honestly fun. Does that mean I'm old?
We were the featured family this week, so all three fo us stood in front of the church while a little piece about us was read.
It was our internet coming out. The first time we have really confessed that to more than our closest friends that we met online.
Oh, there were a couple little bumps in the pageant. When Ashley was trying to adjust the mic in the middle of the hshow she smacked herself on the lip. She held it together for a good 5-10 seconds before running off the stage to us in the pew crying.
But before the end of the song her tears were wiped on my shortsleeve, her nose was blown in a slightly used kleenex, and she was back onstage.
We got home, I carved the turkey, Sarah's Mom made stuffing, Sarah made her famous mashed patatos, and steamed veggies, and we all sat down to a veritable feast.
I ate enough for three meals, maybe more.
We opened gifts, and Sarah's parents took off a little after 4:00.
We watched Star Wars and then the Simpsons, and then Desperate housewives.
Wow, we're lazy lazy bums. And now I can't believe that the weekend is over alread...
Sarah's parents arrived while we were still into he shower. Sarah's Mom seems happier than before, a little more relaxed than I remember seeing her. She just getting over being sick for quite a while. Kidney stones, and infections, and dehydration and a whole cornucopia of unwellness. SO maybe she's just on a "feeling better" high. -found out later that she was on Oxycodone the whole time... she could have at least shared.
There's a tension between her and Roger, Sarah's Dad. It's almost a visible line pulled tight between them.
I know that the past months have been hard for him. Very hard. The past year maybe even.
He lost his job when the factory closed. Wasn't able to find work, not for lack of trying, i'll attest to that. And ended up on disability. But medicare hasn't kicked in yet, and even when it does it's going to leave a lot left over.
And he's been told time and time again that he's not insurable.
Add to that the incompetent doctors that Margie has, and her utter -nearly religious- devotion to their folly.
I admire him imensely for staying sane thus far: I don't think I would have been able to.
And Sarah is stressed, and she gets... well short... when she is stressed. Kinda rude even sometimes. It's hard to stay angry at her for it though. When the frenzied fog lifts she's sorry, and harder on herself than any guilt trip I could lay down.
So you've got these three, as well as Ashley, all in our little kitchen. And Ashley is like the catalyst in a reaction that you really don't want to take place. She hasn't quite figured out how to talk and do anything else at the same time. And she hasn't quite picked up the "not talking" skill yet. Her monologues are never ending.
So either Sarah or I are constantly telling her to "stop talking, start eating", "stop talking, start getting dressed," stop talking, start brushing," "stop talking and get in the car," "for heaven's sake stop talking and remember to breathe!"
Sarah didn't loose it though, kudos to her for that. And at about a quarter after 9:00 I took Ashley to church for the dress rehearsal. Leaving Sarah, her Mom and her Dad at home with the turkey. And now i'm a little nervous about that.
It gived me an hour in fellowship hall w/ my coffee and 2 slices of cranberry bread though.
Enough time to jot down the day thus far....
The children's program was honestly fun. Does that mean I'm old?
We were the featured family this week, so all three fo us stood in front of the church while a little piece about us was read.
It was our internet coming out. The first time we have really confessed that to more than our closest friends that we met online.
Oh, there were a couple little bumps in the pageant. When Ashley was trying to adjust the mic in the middle of the hshow she smacked herself on the lip. She held it together for a good 5-10 seconds before running off the stage to us in the pew crying.
But before the end of the song her tears were wiped on my shortsleeve, her nose was blown in a slightly used kleenex, and she was back onstage.
We got home, I carved the turkey, Sarah's Mom made stuffing, Sarah made her famous mashed patatos, and steamed veggies, and we all sat down to a veritable feast.
I ate enough for three meals, maybe more.
We opened gifts, and Sarah's parents took off a little after 4:00.
We watched Star Wars and then the Simpsons, and then Desperate housewives.
Wow, we're lazy lazy bums. And now I can't believe that the weekend is over alread...
Saturday, December 11, 2004
Raymond says "wal-mart sucks"
We slept in until 8:30 today. Over slept. Ashley was already up playing Tony Hawk.
She made her own completely green character. We had to rush to get Ashley to her 9:00 church rehearsal for the Christmas pageant tomorrow. Sarah took her in, picking up Anna on the way.
Then Sarah came home, we showered together. After the shower we called Mom and Andrew to get ideas for Christmas present, and took off on our errands.
First to Wal Mart. We didn't really want to go there, but the girl that we picked for the giving tree wanted clothes with the Olsen twins, and you can only get those at Walmart. We told ourselves that we'd just get that one thing and get the heck out before the evil seeps into our skin like old ink.
The problem is that things are really cheaper there. Undeniably so. We found the coffee maker for my Mom at $20.00 less that the same coffee maker elsewhere.
We picked up Ashley and Anna from the church at 11:00. The original plan was to drop me off at this point. I was going to stay at home and write a little, spend some time in relative silence with my Mac in the basement. While Sarah took the girls to Toni's too look at some discounted stamps or something.
But i got talked into coming along. Somehow I always do... oh poor me... gnash gnash... oh the ashes....
Sarah promised to keep is at 10 minutes or under. At 11:30 she left me sitting in the car.
I don't mind it much though. Silence becomes a tangible, almost medicinal commodity at some point
Even the relatively short drive from the church to Toni's was nearly enough to break me. Both Anna and Ashley talking in the back seat. Yes, both talking, not figuratively, literally. They just talk over each other, not waiting for the other to stop. Their conversation wasn't so much a tennis match, it was more like a dodgeball game with at least 12 balls in play at once.
And Sarah talking to me nearly the whole time. "mmm hmmm" and "ya" for my part of the conversation. Not that she was saying annoying or pointless things, I just over loaded at some point.
And beneath it all the radion station I was trying to listen to.
I've been listening to too much 92.1, Air America, lately.
It's a liberal radions tation, and though I usually like it, sometimes it's just rhetoric from the other side of the spectrum,
11:57, they're back... looks like my rhetoric rant is cut short, lucky you. All three of them are talking already, thy doors to the car haven't even closed yet. Here we go....
...the mall was hell. Hell I say!!!! It was so packed, and everyone was so focused on their own frenzied chaos tha all common courtesy wand human communication was lost. And that is hell.
Lunch at 2:00, reheated chili. Scavenge for supper. Jelly on toast and cereal. Why can't all meals be breakfast? Played Star Wars duels with Ashley as I ate.
I'm watchign "the day after tomorrow" w/ Sarah now, and will rpbably fall asleep soon. I should remember to write up a little review of the movie for my group.
She made her own completely green character. We had to rush to get Ashley to her 9:00 church rehearsal for the Christmas pageant tomorrow. Sarah took her in, picking up Anna on the way.
Then Sarah came home, we showered together. After the shower we called Mom and Andrew to get ideas for Christmas present, and took off on our errands.
First to Wal Mart. We didn't really want to go there, but the girl that we picked for the giving tree wanted clothes with the Olsen twins, and you can only get those at Walmart. We told ourselves that we'd just get that one thing and get the heck out before the evil seeps into our skin like old ink.
The problem is that things are really cheaper there. Undeniably so. We found the coffee maker for my Mom at $20.00 less that the same coffee maker elsewhere.
We picked up Ashley and Anna from the church at 11:00. The original plan was to drop me off at this point. I was going to stay at home and write a little, spend some time in relative silence with my Mac in the basement. While Sarah took the girls to Toni's too look at some discounted stamps or something.
But i got talked into coming along. Somehow I always do... oh poor me... gnash gnash... oh the ashes....
Sarah promised to keep is at 10 minutes or under. At 11:30 she left me sitting in the car.
I don't mind it much though. Silence becomes a tangible, almost medicinal commodity at some point
Even the relatively short drive from the church to Toni's was nearly enough to break me. Both Anna and Ashley talking in the back seat. Yes, both talking, not figuratively, literally. They just talk over each other, not waiting for the other to stop. Their conversation wasn't so much a tennis match, it was more like a dodgeball game with at least 12 balls in play at once.
And Sarah talking to me nearly the whole time. "mmm hmmm" and "ya" for my part of the conversation. Not that she was saying annoying or pointless things, I just over loaded at some point.
And beneath it all the radion station I was trying to listen to.
I've been listening to too much 92.1, Air America, lately.
It's a liberal radions tation, and though I usually like it, sometimes it's just rhetoric from the other side of the spectrum,
11:57, they're back... looks like my rhetoric rant is cut short, lucky you. All three of them are talking already, thy doors to the car haven't even closed yet. Here we go....
...the mall was hell. Hell I say!!!! It was so packed, and everyone was so focused on their own frenzied chaos tha all common courtesy wand human communication was lost. And that is hell.
Lunch at 2:00, reheated chili. Scavenge for supper. Jelly on toast and cereal. Why can't all meals be breakfast? Played Star Wars duels with Ashley as I ate.
I'm watchign "the day after tomorrow" w/ Sarah now, and will rpbably fall asleep soon. I should remember to write up a little review of the movie for my group.
Friday, December 10, 2004
jam on my crotch
Jam has got to be about the worst thing that you can spill on your crotch on the way into work in the morning. Well... wait... maybe that's not true. I'm imaging all the things that could be spilled on my crotch and I can readily come up with some that are worse.
But it's annoying all the same.
I had my microwaved eggs and toast breakfast in the car again.
Work was work... isn't it always?
Home by 4:00, Sarah had Janet and the girls over. After they left we went out to pick up a few groceries. We stopped by Hollywood video and picked up Tony Hawk for the XBOX, and Taco John's for supper. Watched Joan of Arcadis (star trek was a re-run). After we put Ashley to bed we watched en episode of 6 Feet Under.
I fell alseep near the end, but once I was upstairs I started coughing. All night long I kept waking myself up hacking up phlegm. Today (i'm writing this the next morning) I'm tired and phlegmy. I can taste it running down the back of my throat...
But it's annoying all the same.
I had my microwaved eggs and toast breakfast in the car again.
Work was work... isn't it always?
Home by 4:00, Sarah had Janet and the girls over. After they left we went out to pick up a few groceries. We stopped by Hollywood video and picked up Tony Hawk for the XBOX, and Taco John's for supper. Watched Joan of Arcadis (star trek was a re-run). After we put Ashley to bed we watched en episode of 6 Feet Under.
I fell alseep near the end, but once I was upstairs I started coughing. All night long I kept waking myself up hacking up phlegm. Today (i'm writing this the next morning) I'm tired and phlegmy. I can taste it running down the back of my throat...
Thursday, December 09, 2004
eggs and toast
Today I had eggs and toast for breakfast. I didn't have time to eat it at home, so I put it in a Tupperware and took it with me. For lunch, I packed a bologna and lettuce sandwich. A bunch of oranges, 5 total i think. I'm trying to O.D. on vitamin C, my cough is worse and my throat still hurts.
Work was work. isn't it always? Sitting at a desk 'til my ass falls asleep. Then I walk around, maybe to the drinking fountain and back. And then I sit back on my ever spreading ass again. I don't have scheduled breaks. I could take them if I wanted, but it seems pointless, they just make the day longer.
Sarah stopped by on her way home from work and we went to Hollywood video to get a gift for Greg and Melissa. Then I went back to work for the rest of the day.
Worked until 5:00, Sarah had chicken noodle soup ready for me when I got home.
Went to bed early, hopefully sleep will help me feel a bit better.
Work was work. isn't it always? Sitting at a desk 'til my ass falls asleep. Then I walk around, maybe to the drinking fountain and back. And then I sit back on my ever spreading ass again. I don't have scheduled breaks. I could take them if I wanted, but it seems pointless, they just make the day longer.
Sarah stopped by on her way home from work and we went to Hollywood video to get a gift for Greg and Melissa. Then I went back to work for the rest of the day.
Worked until 5:00, Sarah had chicken noodle soup ready for me when I got home.
Went to bed early, hopefully sleep will help me feel a bit better.
I'll try harder
I'll try harder I have done you all a disservice. I have let you, my faithful readers down. errrrmmm.... wait, I have no freakin’ faithful readers ! (you don't count Sarah).
Oh well, let's just pretend that I do for a moment... a willful suspension of disbelief as Professor Dorgan would say.I'm going to make a concentrated effort to write on this thing a bit more. I'm not ready to give up yet. Here's the chief problem. I like putting pen to paper.
There just isn't an electronic equivalent to that subtle but addictive joy of scrawling black ink across a clean white page. The closest I've ever come ot that joy was peeing my name across a snow bank when I was 11. So even when I make entries here I have the tendency to write them down first. And let's be honest, this blogger won't be around forever. My journals will. Or at least until I accidentally burn this whole world down with innate pyrokinetic abilities.
But I'll try. Just as a warning my entries will probably be a lot more mundane and boring. But let's be honest, they weren't exactly stellar to begin with anyway. So starting tomorrow (ya ya ya... procrastinate this you pine scented bastard) I'll try to enter at least something every day.
Oh well, let's just pretend that I do for a moment... a willful suspension of disbelief as Professor Dorgan would say.I'm going to make a concentrated effort to write on this thing a bit more. I'm not ready to give up yet. Here's the chief problem. I like putting pen to paper.
There just isn't an electronic equivalent to that subtle but addictive joy of scrawling black ink across a clean white page. The closest I've ever come ot that joy was peeing my name across a snow bank when I was 11. So even when I make entries here I have the tendency to write them down first. And let's be honest, this blogger won't be around forever. My journals will. Or at least until I accidentally burn this whole world down with innate pyrokinetic abilities.
But I'll try. Just as a warning my entries will probably be a lot more mundane and boring. But let's be honest, they weren't exactly stellar to begin with anyway. So starting tomorrow (ya ya ya... procrastinate this you pine scented bastard) I'll try to enter at least something every day.
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